Life with an alcoholic is like life in a love triangle: there are you, there are your alcoholic spouse and there is his addiction. Living with him you'll feel it. His unhealthy addiction will suck the money out of the family as well as time and attention leaving you with bits and pieces
Tip 1: You have to understand, that providing too much care and attention will not help anyone. You should keep yourself from abuse. And if you try to help your spouse, getting him out of different problems he gets himself in due to his addiction - you should to stop this right now and leave him to the consequences of his addiction.
Tip 2: Get some support for yourself and other family members, who need it. It will be much harder to get through this without support from those, who already lived through such situation. Professional psycotherapists or al-anon support groups know exactly what problems you have, and can tell you what to do with your anger, despair and feeling of guilt.
Tip 3: Tell your partner that you will not live with him in same house, unless he gets some help immediately. You have to be ready to fulfill your threat. If your spouse does not want to get some help - you should not have intimate relationship with him. Do not use empty threats if you can not fulfill them. An alcoholic has already heard many of them and will easily recognize one more. Resume the relationship only after you get sure he has passed treatment course in rehab clinic and his behavior radically changed.
Tip 4: Be ready to help your partner. Before you break your relationship, you should prepare several options of treatment and try to discuss them with your spouse. If he agrees to visit a doctor, you could offer him to accompany him. However you should let him know very clearly that he, while getting your help and support in this case, is the only one who is responsible.
Tip 5: So remember that alcoholic made his choice himself. You are not guilty and could not change anything.
Tip 6: You should understand your relationship with alcoholic spouse. Maybe something in your personality makes you building unhealthy relationship? Maybe you want to sacrifice yourself for another person? Maybe you feel superiority when you are trying to save your partner?
Tip 7: Do not become angry or quarrel with him. Do not engage in discussions about his life and addiction, and generally avoid to reproach him. This is too common behavior. You will lose his trust and achieve nothing. He is sick and you will not cure it with angry words.
Tip 8:Have no fear he will leave you. When an alcoholic threats to leave, do not try to keep him from this. Even if he leaves he will return in a few days when he sees you were not joking. He can not live away from his family since he is dependent on you in many vital needs.
All this is certainly not easy. But if you get responsibility for your life and detach from your partner, you will make a step to have a rather normal life.
Tip 1: You have to understand, that providing too much care and attention will not help anyone. You should keep yourself from abuse. And if you try to help your spouse, getting him out of different problems he gets himself in due to his addiction - you should to stop this right now and leave him to the consequences of his addiction.
Tip 2: Get some support for yourself and other family members, who need it. It will be much harder to get through this without support from those, who already lived through such situation. Professional psycotherapists or al-anon support groups know exactly what problems you have, and can tell you what to do with your anger, despair and feeling of guilt.
Tip 3: Tell your partner that you will not live with him in same house, unless he gets some help immediately. You have to be ready to fulfill your threat. If your spouse does not want to get some help - you should not have intimate relationship with him. Do not use empty threats if you can not fulfill them. An alcoholic has already heard many of them and will easily recognize one more. Resume the relationship only after you get sure he has passed treatment course in rehab clinic and his behavior radically changed.
Tip 4: Be ready to help your partner. Before you break your relationship, you should prepare several options of treatment and try to discuss them with your spouse. If he agrees to visit a doctor, you could offer him to accompany him. However you should let him know very clearly that he, while getting your help and support in this case, is the only one who is responsible.
Tip 5: So remember that alcoholic made his choice himself. You are not guilty and could not change anything.
Tip 6: You should understand your relationship with alcoholic spouse. Maybe something in your personality makes you building unhealthy relationship? Maybe you want to sacrifice yourself for another person? Maybe you feel superiority when you are trying to save your partner?
Tip 7: Do not become angry or quarrel with him. Do not engage in discussions about his life and addiction, and generally avoid to reproach him. This is too common behavior. You will lose his trust and achieve nothing. He is sick and you will not cure it with angry words.
Tip 8:Have no fear he will leave you. When an alcoholic threats to leave, do not try to keep him from this. Even if he leaves he will return in a few days when he sees you were not joking. He can not live away from his family since he is dependent on you in many vital needs.
All this is certainly not easy. But if you get responsibility for your life and detach from your partner, you will make a step to have a rather normal life.
